Thunderbolts and Lightning: A Teacher Finds Balance, Revisited
Wednesday, February 3, 2016In January, I wrote about "doing the fandango" to Freddie Mercury as I attempted to find balance in the year 2016. I began an anti-Alzheimer nutrition make-over and fumbled my way through discovering the delights of eating healthy greens and legumes. Years ago, I followed a self-help guru who believed that when we put ideas out into the universe, the universe responds with challenges to help us learn. I always think about her belief when I choose a new theme for the New Year. And if I'm honest, it makes me feel a bit fearful. It's kind of like that old adage, "Careful what you wish for..." and I await thunderbolts and lightning.
Regardless of my personal belief system, thunderbolts and lightning struck this month, at the very beginning of my 2016. My mom died. Unexpectedly. And, any fleeting sense of balance I had developed disintegrated in an instant. Funeral plans, substitute plans, life insurance appointments a grieving father and sister, and my own over-whelming grief took center stage. According to that self-help guru, the universe had responded. Guess what? I'm learning some big lessons.
Have you ever stood on a Bosu ball and tried to do squats? A Bosu ball is one of those big exercise balls cut in half with a hard platform on one side of it. So you stand on the ball side, with the platform flat on the floor, and you do weird stuff like squats and lunges with weights, all the while teetering and struggling. It activates core muscles, at least that's what a sadistic trainer once told me.
These past two weeks have been like trying to balance on a Bosu ball. I fell off a few times, but I got back on. I ate food that was put before me because I couldn't cope with cooking, but I watched my portions. I did what I needed to do for myself and my family. I teetered. I struggled. But, I got back on.
February is here, and it's time to find a new focus for my balancing efforts. My mom was a positive person. I used to refer to her as "Little Miss Mary Sunshine." Sometimes, I was annoyed by her Pollyanna outlook. But to remember her, and maintain my balance through grief, I will be tracking joy. Yep. You read that right. Every day, I will be reflecting on what brought me joy. It may be the smallest, most fleeting thing, but I need to balance out my sadness. Some days, I will need to plan it. Some days, I will fall off the Bosu ball.
You can check out my "Joy Tracking" materials below. They're free for the taking. I hope they help you balance on the Bosu this month.
Teach on, my friends!
Tracy @
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I am so sorry for your loss! I hope you are still able to find the balance and peace you are looking for.
ReplyDeleteTamara, Thank you so much.
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